by Steve Parker
We all try so hard, don't we? It seems especially true of people who are working to improve themselves or to live a more spiritual life. We just can't seem to get it right, or no matter how hard we work on ourselves, it never ends. There's always something more. Won't we EVER be fixed? How much more can there be? I thought I resolved that issue. I thought I'd gotten to the bottom of this issue. How much more innerwork do I have to do on myself before I start living the life I really want? Why doesn't my eyesight get better? When will my soulmate finally show up? Why isn't Creator answering my prayers?
We say: I've been clearing my stuff for a decade, and it feels like nothing has changed. What the hell else do I have to do Creator? Am I that damaged that nothing will work? I must be paying off some pretty horrible Karma to keep having to deal with all this. I must be a really bad person. I'm a failure at all this. Creator must be really mad at me, etc.
We could go on and on. What is it that you think you're doing wrong? Creator says you're doing nothing wrong. Yes yes, I can hear you swearing at me through your computer. I don't blame you. We all can get very frustrated sometimes. Think back to before you found this stuff called ThetaHealing. What were you like? How did you deal with problems or conflict? Do you remember having thoughts like, "this is just the way it is; I might as well get used to it" or "I guess I'm really hopeless"? Do you remember feeling like everything around you seemed to be conspiring against you? Why did you feel that way?
Why did you beat yourself up for screwing it up for the 4389th time. Was it because you thought you'd learned that lesson and you still reacted the same way to the situation as the first 4388 times? It's not your fault. No I'm not trying to absolve you from blame or tell you there are no consequences. There are consequences. There are consequences for every thought you have and every knee jerk reaction you ever make.
You are responsible for every experience you ever had BUT, it's not your fault.
IMHO the truest and highest of all the philosophies and religions and spiritual practices tell us the same fundamental truth. You are perfect exactly as you are. There's nothing about your truest deepest self that needs to be fixed. There's nothing about you that is broken. You are infinitely perfect. You say: STEVE, YOU'VE HAD ONE TOO MANY OF THOSE STARBUCKS COFFEE WITH TOO MUCH CHOCOLATE POWDER AND CREAM. YOU'VE CRACKED!!! No actually I haven't. God doesn't make mistakes, and that includes when he made you. BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THE THINGS I'VE DONE AND SAID AND THOUGHT. Maybe not, but I don't really care what you've done or said or thought. At the end of the day, that's not what counts. You are not separate from Creator, no matter how hard you try to prove it to yourself and to the world. You can't make a mistake, period. What you do is assign meaning to things in ways you don't always understand.
Let's look at the nature of matter from a particle physics and quantum physics point of view. (Apologies to Dr. Nat and the other scientists reading this ahead of time for whatever mistakes I make when I give whatever ideas that come forth in this next part. See, I have more work to do on this subject. I’m beating myself up even before I actually commit a grievous error that I'm not even sure I'm actually going to make!) Long story short, the deeper Science goes into matter, the less of it there is. The atomic structure of stuff comes down to neutrons, protons, electrons, and what appears to be a relatively large amount of empty space. Those parts, when we look at them really closely, are really just little clumps of vibrations and not actually stuff. The idea that anything is actually solid it seems is an illusion. In a way, at least at the physical level nothing is really there. Why would that be? HMMM, what a good question.
In a way when you physically hurt someone, you're not actually hurting them. Yes, the person is experiencing pain and maybe they bleed etc. If you look at it at the deeper level, all the little clumps of vibrations that make up whatever part of the other person you hurt are still just little clumps of vibrations. The idea that you actually hurt someone is relative. How could you have hurt the other person if at the quantum/particle physics level all the clumps of vibrations are still clumps of vibrations?
This is not a rationalization to go around hurting people because "it never really happened" at the quantum level of little clumps of vibrations. That, of course, would be stupid. What is the fundamenal principle of ThetaHealing? As I vaguely understand it, we all are, at one level or another, creating our own reality. We are infinite co-creators with God in every aspect of our lives. This whole take on quantum physics is just the mechanism that Creator has given us to play with the ideas of separation from Creator without consequences at the higher spiritual levels, while still giving us what we percieve as consequences at the level of so-called physical reality.
Let's go back to when you punched out your obnoxious brother-in-law, or stole money, or got drunk, ran a red light and crashed into that car, killing those two little girls, and you walked away without a scratch. On the level of this earth plane, those events are at best ridiculous and at worst unforgivable and horrifying. However, because of all this particle and quantum physics stuff, there is scientific intellectual room for the beginnings of the possibility that everything may not be as it seems at first glance. Without taking away from what we percieve as unacceptable behaviour at various levels, the finality of what has gone on in our lives and the mistakes we have made is in doubt.
Yes, there are consequences to our actions and thoughts in the world, but the meaning we give them is up to us. What about the story of the murderer of a boy and the father of that same boy coming together to help save other boys from the same violence that the original boy experienced? Is the act that the murderer commited still unforgivable? Maybe, maybe not. It depends on what meaning you assign to the act and the following situations that came from that heinous act.
There was one guy I worked on a few months ago that had the belief that you had to screw people in business to get ahead. After about 10 minutes of digging, we found that his subconscious believed, essentially, doing that would help keep communism away, and communism would bring far more suffering to humanity than even the worst form of capitalism ever could. Whether you agree with hm or not is not important. He believed that. Within his own jumbled beleif systems, he was doing the very best he knew how to do for the greater good, even if he had to screw someone in business to do it.
What is it that you are beating yourself up over? What is it about yourself and the way you survive this earthly plane that makes you feel a fool, stupid, hopeless, defective, or inherently flawed at the deepest levels? What is it that makes you feel as if the dark side of you is just waiting for you to slip up and take over and the death and destruction will then begin?
What's the worst thing that would happen if you didn't feel that way about yourself and your past actions? Who was the first person that convinced you of these things? Why did you feel you had no choice but to accept those judgements upon yourself? What is it within yourself that you are willing to look at to find the beliefs that are the ones that convinced you of your separateness from God? Remember, they are just beliefs and when we ask Creator to change them for us, he does, no questions asked. Why does he do that? Because whatever you think you've done is just a belief. Whatever meaning you've assigned to the experiences in your life, they're just beliefs. They all can be changed in the twinkling of an eye. (Faster actually!)
Give yourself a break. Let go of beating yourself up for just a little while so you can see the meaning you've assigned to yourself and the things in your life you've experienced. Change them if you want so you can have a different experience of life and help more people and have more and more the conscious experience of oneness with and lack of separateness from the Creator of all that is who loves you in ways we can't even begin to imagine.
Love,
Steve Parker
www.StephenRoyParker.com
yourdivinity@gmail.com
310-850-1438